This Needs to Stop

I don't have the energy or the strength to type out a blog entry today. I will only ask one question:

How much have we really progressed as a society?

Emmett Till     1954                                                   Michael Brown 2014

LA Riots 1992

Ferguson 2014

Richard Sherman and the microscope of racism in society

 

After a great football game last Sunday between the Seattle Seahawks vs. the San Francisco 49ers the attention immediately went to Cornerback Richard Sherman. He had a controversial post game interview with Erin Andrews (which can be seen here). This interview didn't really upset me as much the way Sherman continued to taunt his opponent after he made a terrific play to seal the victory for his team.

My personal opinions on Sherman in regards to sportsmanship is one thing, but I think the most disappointing aspect out of all of this is how people reacted to Richard Sherman using derogatory racial slurs against him. I think Sherman is coming to the realization that his post game reaction might have been a bit immature. His frustration of people him calling him a "thug" is something that I empathize with. Sherman is the furthest thing from a thug. He might have grown up in a neighborhood where gang violence and drugs were a huge part of his surroundings, but he used his talents and academic skills to earn himself a degree from Stanford University. He is very outspoken, and very confident of his athletic abilities, but he is not a thug. If Sherman was Caucasian, would he be labeled a thug or "a really competitive and outspoken individual."

This is not the first time this has happened when a minority athlete has made a mistake on the field and people immediately use race as a scapegoat to pass blame on the player. Kolten Wong a Second Basemen for the St. Louis Cardinals was picked off in the World Series against the Boston Red Sox. Here are some of the reactions people said on twitter in light of his mistake on the field.

Social Media has opened up a can of worms which has created a boldness in which people can freely say what is on their mind. Was it better when we didn't know what people were truly thinking? Why is it that when a minority makes a mistake on the field, race is one of the first things that is attacked? In essence have we not progressed from when Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier in professional baseball? He was harassed, called the n-word, and had objects thrown at him. NaVarro Bowman gets hurt trying make a play and is carted off the field with popcorn being thrown on him, as the game continues as if nothing has happened. Does society view athletes as the modern day gladiator? A source of entertainment that is distant, soulless and sub human. An athletes only value is that they entertain us. But at what cost? This detachment from the player to fan creates a barrier that allows us to easily say negative things and have loose tongues. In the two examples of Sherman and Wong, the loose tongue has revealed the true feelings of someone because of the color of their skin.

I don't approve of Richard Sherman's antics but please do not judge him because of the color of his skin, his long dreads and the place where he grew up. Everyone is entitled to their opinion of a player. Whether they think she is a good player or bad player, whether she shows good sportsmanship or is a sore loser, but never should we judge a player by the color of their skin. Why aren't we passed this yet?

What is Love?

When I hear that phrase I immediately think of Will Ferrell, Chris Kattan and Jim Carey

I've been thinking about the term "love" lately, because
-I am recently engaged and preparing for marriage,
-This recent blog, "Marriage isn't for you" has been popping up everywhere
and
-I recently posted scripture about "love" challenging students at Gordon

I think the Greeks defined the concept of love very well. They had four different terms for love and each had its own very different definition. Love was relative to the context of the relationship and situation. In English love is relative and left for interpretation.

These are some examples of how we hear the term love in our everyday interactions:

-I love pizza
-I love basketball
-I love you as if you were my brother
-I love (so and so person)

All of these statements use the term love, but our understanding and interpretation of love is constantly changing with age and experience, along with the fact that we hear it everyday, in so many different contexts, it creates a jumble in our heads.

So if we are called to love others as we love ourselves. What kind of love is Jesus talking about?
Love others like I love In and Out Burger? Or love others like I love the Raiders? Or love others like I love my fiance'? Or some combination of all of the above? How is it even possible to love everyone? That takes, time, energy, money, and those are all finite things.

Love can be shown in so many different ways. For starters, why don't we just try to be nice to people. I find myself sticking out in a good way, because I generally try to be patient with others, try to smile, and ask simple questions like "how is your day going?"  Doing simple things like showing the barista grace at your local Starbucks, because your order isn't out as quick as it ought to, might get you a free cup of coffee (it happened to me).

But the more serious and deeper your relationship is with someone, the more deeper the expectations are for the amount of sacrifice, patience, and understanding you have to give to that person. The hardest part about this is that we're not supposed to keep tabs or records of this love.

If my parents kept record of all of the dirty diapers they had to change, the amount of times I threw up on them, or the lack of sleep they sacrificed during the first 4 years of my life, I don't think I could ever repay them. And that's only the first 4 years of my life! What about the next 14 when I needed new clothes? Or a new CD, or the things I took for granted like a place to live and food. They loved me, so that I would be able to be in a position one day to love others.

Now it's my turn. It's my turn to love my students and work hard for them, so that they can feel more welcomed and included on campus. It's my turn to love my fiance as God loves her. To make sacrifices for her and not expect anything in return (This is very HARD, by the way).

As God sacrificed his only son for our sins, and expected nothing in return. I am called to love through graciousness. Love through patience. Love through listening and to Love through putting someone else before yourself.

To the Gordon Community

    

As I read through different status updates, and tweets as an outsider looking in, the campus climate in regards to issues of diversity seem shaky at best. This is disappointing to say the least, considering I spent the last couple of years working with minority students on campus. I can't help but feel guilty for leaving Gordon for another opportunity when there was much work left to be done. My heart hurts for the students. The minority students who are left to endure, and try to piece together what is happening on their campus. I'm sorry that you have to go through little micro-aggressions throughout your daily lives. I'm sorry that there are not a significant number of minority faculty and staff in which you can confide and find comfort in on campus. I'm sorry that you have been given so much responsibility to educate the community in efforts of diversity with limited institutional support and resources.

I hope you realize that your voice and opinion matter. I urge you to please continue to pursue administration and make them aware of the things that are happening on campus. If incidents are not reported, it is easier to keep blinders on and not realize the lack of inclusiveness. If Gordon truly  "strives to graduate men and women distinguished by intellectual maturity and Christian character, committed to lives of service and prepared for leadership worldwide," than they must

-teach intellectual maturity in the classroom from diverse perspectives
-teach Christian character from a deeply rooted position of reconciliation

Which leads to the majority students on campus...
Matthew 22:36-39 states:
³⁶ “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” ³⁷ And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ³⁸ This is the great and first commandment. ³⁹ And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

There is a wide spectrum for where you can lie in regards to your understanding of diversity. No matter where you are on the spectrum,  please ask yourself, how are you loving others as yourself?
I'm sorry that you have not enjoyed Chapel worship. I was actually on the selection committee and thought that I was doing the right thing in helping to select Mr. Mooney-mccoy. After such positive responses to the Gospel Choir and gospel music I thought the campus was ready to be challenged and be exposed to a different style of worship. I really do understand that you may not be comfortable with the type of songs that are being played.

But do you realize that this is something that our minority students go through everyday? This feeling of being exposed to something that is foreign, this feeling of not having control over something that use to be "normal", this feeling of "ugh, what is this, I don't know what this is, so I don't like it," these are small sacrifices of moving towards reconciliation. In order to love others, even if they aren't the majority population, means listening to them and learning what is important to them. It means giving up a position of privilege at times,  it means humbling yourself to learn a new song, and it means realizing that there are several ways to worship God.

Dear Future Scott

A few weeks ago I read one of my coworkers blogs. He wrote an entry in which he wrote a letter to his future self 5 years from now in hopes to encourage himself and strive to be a better man of God. He got the idea from his brother-in-law who wrote himself a letter before entering high school and read it at his graduation party 5 years later. So here it goes...


____________________________________________________________________
Dear Future Scott,
Currently you're on the verge of turning 30 and you're not in the place where you thought you would be, but life is still good. God has blessed you immensely and I can't imagine that those blessings will stop especially if you continue to remain faithful to Him. I don't know what your life will look like 5 years from now but,

Hopefully you still look like this...


Lord willing you will have found the love of your life and you are happily married. Don't forget to never take her for granted and how you longed for God to provide you with a person to share your life with. Love her everyday as God loves her. Love her like you promised you would to God when praying that he would provide you with a wonderful woman of God. I hope that picture you had in your head, you know the one about you playing piano in your living room as your wife is reading has come true. I could probably go on about this topic but I will stop here.

I know you've always wanted kids so maybe you have one by now? Remember that tough love is good love. Even though you want to give her/him everything they want, chocolate at night and McDonald's for lunch is not good for them. I know you love sleep and that probably is non-existent now. Remember when you couldn't fathom being too old to sleep in anymore? Haha, I bet that day is long gone now. I bet it's so worth it though. I hope you learn from them and are reminded of the innocence, love and child like faith a kid has. I hope you are reminded of what being care free is, and what pure joy is. I know you're going to be good Dad.

I hope you're investing in a church and that you're trying to make deep relationships with people. I know you always shy away from trying to get involved, but I know by now that you finally feel comfortable not being a wallflower and actually serving side by side with your brothers and sisters in Christ. Get over yourself and do it. What would you be without people in your life? Nothing.

Did you go for that PhD? I hope so. You always doubted yourself academically and I don't know why. So many people have told you how much you bring to the classroom and how your different ideas and perspectives really help others. Yes it takes you forever to read a book, and your writing is scrambled, but I hope you remembered the fulfillment and excitement you felt when you were in the classroom and the day you got hooded and that those things helped to push you to go for it. I hope your sister is not the only Dr. Hwang in the family...

Are you still carrying that torch for diversity in higher education? I hope you're not jaded or burnt out and that you can see you're making a difference. I hope you're loving your students and seeing that, caring for them is the purpose of your work. Woo-Sah buddy, woo-saah. Remember, that the work of reconciliation is not supposed to be easy. If Christ died on the cross for our sins, what must you do to help make this world a better place? You are called to reconcile every day in all that you do.

I hope in five years the Raiders actually made the playoffs and that you're friends with these people...



also that the Dodgers make a run at a World Series. I hope you still do your man trip with your buddies and that you convinced your college friends to finally rent that house in the Outer Banks for a week in the summer, heck by now it should be a tradition.

I hope you still love to dance at weddings and go crazy every once in a while. You have a great family and awesome friends. Keep on investing and loving them. I hope you have forgiven people if they hurt you in the past and that you're not bitter about anything. Life is too short to be jaded.

Best of luck my man. I'll see you in 5 years.

Scott

Road Trip 2012 Summary Part 2

From the Ville I headed to Taylor University for the Association for Christians In Student Development Conference. It was the third time I had attended this conference. I was so excited to see old colleagues and friends from Covenant, Geneva, Grad School friends that are working at different institutions as well as camp friends who ended up working in Higher Education. I was very impressed with Taylor. It was probably the best ACSD I've been to and they did an amazing job of hosting. The variety of topics and workshops on diversity and different initiatives were impressive and encouraging.

The only picture I took from the conference was this...haha


This was probably one of the best parts of ACSD anyways....got to go out to Indianapolis and eat dinner with some old friends at the Weber Grill Restaurant. If you ever get a chance to go to one of these restaurants, go. Their food is unbelievable and the prices are reasonable, I recommend the beer can chicken.

One of the more encouraging things I took away from ACSD was to see how far I have come in higher ed. I remember my first ACSD and not knowing what to expect and being humbled by so many people who had dedicated their entire lives to Christian Higher Ed. I had just finished my first year at Covenant and felt like a little kid compared to all these people who had their Master's degrees and several years of experience. This year I realized I was one of those older people, with experience and a Master's Degree. I've come such a long way by the grace of God.

Never in my dreams that I thought this would happen...



and that I'd get to be in a position and get to work with students like this...



So yes, Road Trip 2012 was a great experience. In many ways I'm still trying to process it.

Road Trip 2012 Summary Part 1

Now that things have settled down after being on the road for almost a month, I think I'm ready to give this blog thing a shot again.

I started my long trek a few weeks back and my first stop was Beaver Falls (The Falls is what I like to refer it as). The Falls has a special place in my heart because I gained a new appreciation for education and learning there. I was challenged by professors in the classroom and challenged in my work in higher education by colleagues and students.

My stop to the Falls was kind of a last minute addition, but the main purpose was to see one my best friends from Grad School Ryan get married. I don't think I would have survived my first year of Grad School without Ryan. We use to go into Pittsburgh, smoke cigars and have great conversations. I'm so excited for him and Missy as they start their new life together. Blessings to you guys!



During my visit, I got to catch up with old friends and see many people that I love and care for, go to a Pirates Game, grab a meal at Mario's, Yama, Kelly's and the Backdoor (All must haves in the Beaver Cahntwy). It was a great start to the road trip.

From the Falls I headed down to North Carolina. This was the one part of the trip where I had a few friends with me in the car, Jessie and Nolan. The drive down to Raleigh was one of my many favorite parts of the trip because I got to catch up with both of them and talk about Higher Ed (Nol is in grad school at NC State and working as an RD).

I arrived at Duke and jumped head first into one of the most intense conferences I've ever been to. I'm pretty introverted and it is very taxing for me to meet new people. I knew no one at this conference and the days were long but very rich. Each day was filled with deep discussions about the broken world and how we were trying to fix it through our different callings of church planting, non-profit, NGO's, higher education the list could go on.

Shown here are a couple of sweet people I got to meet at this conference. Robyn is a public speaker and runs her own company on Racial Reconciliation and Diversity. Jae runs a Reconciliation organization in Korea and runs workshops throughout Asia. We all connected because we were all Korean, but had totally different backgrounds and upbringings. I am Korean but was born and raised in the US. Robyn was born in Korea but was adopted by Dutch-Americans in Michigan, Jae was born and raised in Korea. It reminded us about how we can't just brush a stroke of stereotypes when coming across a person. We all have very unique individual stories in which God is at the foundation.


One of the biggest things I took away from the Duke conference was that we are called to reconcile everyday. No matter what you do for work or what situation you're in, the act of love and reconciliation is needed in everything, EVERYTHING.

From North Carolina I headed up to Charlottesville, Virginia (The Ville). I always love going to the Ville because there are SO many people that I love there. I stayed at my old mentor's house which is one of my favorite places to stay in the world. They live on Lake Monticello and have a loft that has a beautiful view of the lake. In the morning the sun shines through the windows, and you wake up to a view of the fog as it rolls off the water (ahhhhh). Not to mention Greg and Nance are some of the most hospitable people ever. In the Ville I got to have several meals with awesome friends at The Continental Divide and Bel-Air Market and attend church at Trinity Pres.

Check out Greg's classic 55 Ford F-150. Wow....


The Ville was a place of tremendous growth for me. I learned about the concept of time, and how it is not mine, but ultimately time is God's and we should use each moment to seek to glorify him. The Ville was also the place were I realized my calling and vocation in higher education.


Wow this post is long...I will continue my 2nd part of the journey in another entry.

Road Trip 2012

Yes,
surprise surprise. I have not blogged in months. I beg for forgiveness from the 2 people that read this blog every 9 months. Tomorrow I'm headed for another Road Trip adventure as I head to Beaver Falls to catch up with some friends and attend a wedding. From there I will head down to Duke University for a Racial Reconciliation Conference hosted by the Divinity School (STOKED about this!). After that I will have a short trip to C-Ville and then head to Taylor University for ACSD which I have not attended in about 5 years. It should be an amazing trip of growth, relaxation, mental convictions and lots of learning. Looking forward to it and ready to kick off the summer in style. Hopefully I'll blog along the way.

Convictions

I realize I'm not a regular blogger. I was not aware that in order to be a good blogger you need to blog at least once a day. The more regular your posts are, the more likely people will repeatedly come back to your blog. Nevertheless I don't think I'm going to start blogging everyday, let alone once a week.

I began to ask myself why not? Is it because I'd have to dig deeper and analyze and expose more of myself in order to stay relevant? Is it because I'm apathetic in a lot of ways in my life when it comes to my faith, my job, and my discipline? Is it because I think I'm too good or too busy for it? The answer is yes to all of the above.

The fear to dig deeper within because I'm afraid of what I will find. A sense that I cannot handle anything else at this point. No more disappointment, no more guilt, no more shame, I am done with all of those things. But let's be honest. Can you really escape your inner-self and the core that makes you? Their have been and still are temporary remedies for people; drugs, alcohol, sex etc. or for us "Christians" maybe it is staying too busy and overcommitment so you don't have to think about things, or fully delving into your work because society approves of such an obsession. Whatever it is, it all catches up with you eventually. It reminds me of the Avett Brothers song "The Weight of Lies"

The weight of lies will bring you down
And follow you to every town
Cause nothing happens here that doesn’t happen there
So when you run make sure you run
To something and not away from
Cause lies don’t need an aeroplane to chase you anywhere

But the good news, is that no matter what is eating at you. There is always the solid foundation of God. The good news of the gospel, and nothing like a little perspective that will help you realize how amazingly blessed you are. The song that comes to mind in order to counter "The Weight of Lies" is the song "In Christ Alone"

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

Dig Deeper, reach into the bottom of your soul and find the dark muck, and mud. The more you reveal the more God will heal with his grace and love.

We're constantly changing

So it's typical for me, not to be able to fall asleep at night. Last night was no exception, so I came across this article.. by Tim Keller.

It made me think, I always hear the saying, "the person I married x amount of years ago isn't the same person I'm married to today".

Can you imagine if you were exactly the same as you were 10, 11, or 12 years ago? I would be 17 years old and a Senior in High School. At that point my understanding of life was so narrow. I could only think about girls (I guess that hasn't changed...ha), being an awesome football player (I can now say that I was NOT an awesome football player) and how to be cool (I definitely was not, and I cringe at the thought of seeing myself trying to act like I was).

Even looking back 5 or 6 years ago I was in the Trinity Fellows Program, trying to figure out "what I wanted to do with my life" and still trying to understand the grace of God.

The old adage with age comes wisdom is so true.Each year of your life is a notch that God marks in your life.
-The moments of enlightenment when everything makes sense in the world, and the passions of your heart meet with the hurts of the world.
-The loss of a loved one and the pain that it brings, but the gratefulness that you got to experience life with them.
-The scars of a relationship that ended poorly, a reminder that God is the ultimate love, and that he will always be there.
-The laughter with friends, a moment in which you can experience a small sliver of what heaven is like, living in constant joy, in community with loved ones.

Check out these trees. Nature is always a good reminder of how God works, and how he has designed things. Trees are not meant to stay the same and remain little saplings. They also don't turn into huge beautiful trees over night. It takes years and years to grow. Deep roots and a great foundation to persevere through harsh winters storms, and dry seasons....to eventually grow into something as beautiful as


this

Finals Week

It is Finals week here at Gordon and I can't help but remember how hard this week was as a student. I procrastinate with the best of them and Finals always hits you like a blitzing linebacker from the blindside. It's virtually impossible to recover from a semester of slacking, but there I was at the end of every semester trying to cram a semesters worth of reading in one day. My prayers go out to all you students this week. College is fun and there is lots of freedom, but with that freedom comes the responsibility to be academically faithful, which is very difficult. Great is thy Faithfulness oh God. No matter what we are going through or what our circumstances may be, you will be there no matter what. Even if it means studying your butt off to pass a statistics exam in order to graduate (wow that was a stressful one).

Homemade General Tso's Chicken Stir Fry

So I just realized that I have never posted a recipe and cooking has become a new passion of mine. I've found myself watching food network and just creating things with random leftover's and vegetables over the last couple of weeks and being able to create some pretty good dishes so here we go. I will post my first recipe that I made up.

Ingredients
4 pieces Fried Chicken (You can get some fried chicken from your local grocery store, if it is cold/ leftover from the day before that is fine)
Half a White Onion
1 Red Bell Pepper
1 Yellow Bell Pepper
Minced Garlic
Korean Red Pepper Paste (This is probably the most difficult ingredient to get, but can used in a variety of dishes. You can pick this up at any Asian Super Market)
Salt and Pepper
Olive Oil

Directions:
Pull chicken from the bones and set aside in a bowl.
Rough Chop Half an Onion, Red and Yellow Bell Peppers.
Add Onions, Peppers and 2 tblspoons of minced garlic
Saute all veggies in a fry-pan with 2 tblspoons of Olive Oil for 10 minutes on high heat.
Add Salt and Pepper to taste

Add chicken and 1 tblspoon of Red Pepper Paste, continue to saute for 5-8 minutes.

This is a very simple dish that fits perfectly with a side of rice.

My thoughts on Joe Paterno and PSU

I usually don't write about topics in the news and try to keep my blog pretty personal, but I just can't resist writing about the things happening at Penn State and Coach Joe Paterno. The reasons for this is that it has to do with several things I am passionate about, coaching, football and higher education. So in essence it is a personal blog.

Several years back I got to experience a football game at Penn State. It's almost a surreal experience. 100,000 plus people come from what seems like the middle of no where to cheer on their beloved team. The standard on the field and the level of expectation for Penn State is and always has been perfection. This all stems from their great coach Joe Paterno. He has coached there for 46 years, starting as an assistant and making his way up to be the head coach. He has won 2 National Championships and is the most winning-est coach in College Football history. In short he is a football god. What people admire about Joe Pa the most is that he is a standup guy and has done everything by the book.

I believe this is the reason why this story has caused so much controversy. Years and years of work and accomplishments and accolades have been crushed and tarnished by a scandal that has rocked everyone to the core. Joe Pa was not the person who ultimately did the supposed perverted unforgivable acts that Coach Sandusky did, but Paterno was Sandusky's former superior (At the time Sandusky had been retired but still was a part of the program). Allegedly Sandusky was seen molesting a child in the locker room by a Graduate Assistant. This was then reported to Paterno who then reported it the Athletic Director. Paterno legally did what he was suppose to do, but in the minds of many he did not do enough. Did Joe Pa enable Sandusky to continue what he was doing? Time will tell.

As for the college administrators, why did they not follow through with the accusations of such a serious offense? Did the success of a football program cause the administration to turn a blind eye to what Sandusky was doing?

For Paterno, maybe there was a certain loyalty and friendship that he wanted to protect Sandusky, we can never know. I keep on trying to put myself in Joe Paterno's shoes in that situation. As a Head Coach I would bring in other coaches who I believed in and trusted to instill the values and philosophies I had. I then hear about serious allegations about one of my coaches, what would I do? I would definitely confront him, which would be awful and awkward, and then report it to the my superiors. The next steps are the point of contention. Would I wait for my superiors to make a decision? Would I take matters into my own hand and cut ties with my colleague and friend? I have no idea...it's like a horrible nightmare that you just want to go away.

It seems as though everyone passed the buck up and didn't want to take a stand, because the accusations were so appalling and so shocking on top of the pressure of what it would do to a very successful football program, everyone kept quiet. This is why the current administration and Joe Paterno are paying the price now for their lack of action. If they weren't forced to step down, it would send a message that football rules, that Joe Paterno could call his own shots and that he could tell the Board of Trustees what they should do.

As a person who loves football, that has dedicated many hours to the game as a player, coach and fan this is a very sad day. I am grateful for what Joe Paterno has done for the game of football and very dissapointed that one of the greatest coaches in history had to go out like this.

As a person who is a college administrator, I have to say, Football is just a game. Yes, it can bring Universities and schools many accolades, money, and prestige, but it is a game. It is a part of education, it is NOT above it.

I was born for this...

This past weekend I took my Clarendon Scholars on a retreat up to New Hampshire. I was nervous, excited, and anxious to see what the weekend would hold. I have had a descent amount of interaction with most of them but we have not spent a large chunk of time together.

It's amazing what different surroundings can do for a group. I can't say it was anything that I did at all, but God was moving throughout the weekend within our group. From amazing worship, to laughter and organic conversations and relationships being built. I could have not asked for anything better to happen from a retreat. The value of something like this is priceless.

Physically I am exhausted, but spiritually and mentally I am at peace. I went to bed on Saturday night and thought, "wow, I love my job. I was born to do this." Have you ever had one of those moments where everything makes sense? You realize the journey that God has taken you through and every little intricacy and turn has led you to that exact point in time, where for a split second it all makes sense.

These moments don't happen a lot so my recommendation is that you relish in it for as long as the buzz of that feeling lasts. Soon enough I'm sure I will feel the brokenness of the world and reality will hit me, but for now I am very thankful for an amazing retreat.

5 years later....

This past weekend I drove down to Charlottesville, VA for a 5 year reunion of the Trinity Fellows Program. Granted it was only the guys in the program, and 4 out of the 5 were present, but in spite of all of these things it was a great weekend of reflecting and fellowship. I had plenty of time to think and reflect on my drive down (12 plus hours) and my drive up (12 hours). On a side note here's some advice, if you're going to drive down to VA, avoid NYC like the plague, the traffic is awful.

Fellows if you actually read this blog, please watch this clip as you read. Other's you can watch the clip as well, but this song will always represent the Trinity Fellows of 2005-2006 in my mind.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI-o25K6B-E&ob=av3e

I realized that our class has accomplished A LOT in the last 5 years. Our class has a combined 5 Masters Degrees and 3 more who are currently working on Graduate Degrees. We span all over the country living in 6 different states. 8 out of the 12 of us are married and our cohort has 2 children and 3 more on the way.

We have accomplished a lot and more importantly we have grown up a lot. We came in as recent graduates of college not knowing what to expect, and have left experiencing many failures, hardships, disappointments, successes, joys and laughter. All of these things covered in God's grace, love and mercy.

We have all learned and lived out the Christian Meta-Narrative of creation, fall, redemption, and consummation. Trying our best to live out our callings, passions and vocation that God has wired within us. Whether that is teaching the future generations in the classroom, being a light in the business market or doing full time ministry, God is living and working through all of us.

Here's to 5 years of living for the Lord and here's to 5 more. Much love to all of you.

So...

A lot has happened since my conference tour. I graduated from my Master's program at Geneva. I got to work at camp for a month, and what else? Oh yeah, I got a job at Gordon where I did my undergrad and I moved up a couple of days ago. I haven't blogged in a while because to be honest, I was frustrated with my job search. I had started applying for jobs back in December. I applied for over 50 jobs. After all of that work I had nothing to report. The whole job process was very humbling and a reality check for me and forced me to trust God. Out of the 50 jobs I applied for the only places I got on campus interviews were at 2 Christin Institutions. So God was making it clear that it wasn't time to leave Christian Higher Education.

So I'm back on the North Shore which has been really good so far. I've reconnected with a lot of college friends, and I'm slowly getting settled in. I'm very excited for my new job at Gordon. I will be directing a scholarship program for Urban City students, and will be advising minority students as well. I really don't know what my day to day will look like, but I'm actually not that intimidated by it, because I honestly feel this is where I'm suppose to be, and this is what God wants me to be doing.

Conferences, Conferences Everywhere

Wow, I feel like I've been around the world and back for the last couple of months. I usually love conferences and take a lot from them, but I can officially say that I am conferenced-out for the year.

In February I got to attend the Jubilee Conference for the second time. It's amazing to see the different connections from Christian Colleges and Camp that intertwine there. It's also amazing that I can never get a good nights rest at Jubilee ever. The concept that stuck out this year was a couple of speakers who spoke on the concept of "veneer". Veneer is wood paneling or flooring that you can get which looks like really good quality wood on the outside but on the inside it's just compressed cheap wood (Pretty much anything from Ikea). This concept is suppose to challenge us in how we carry ourselves and what we present to the world. Is it genuine? Are you being transparent and showing people your real self and the scars and pain that you have suffered? Because those are the things that make you who you are. So the metaphor of wood continues. The concept of aged wood. Wood that has been exposed to the outside elements such as the scorching sun, and long cold winters. This wood has different scars and marks that indicate where it has been, but this wood is absolutely beautiful when you look at it. So the concept to take away is simply that Scars are Beauty.

A couple of days later I got to attend the National Student Leadership Conference at Taylor University. This was more of a scouting trip to see if we should bring students from Geneva in the next couple of years. It was weird to walk around Taylor and see it for myself because my concept of that school was always formed from stories that my friends at camp would tell me about. I caught myself laughing to myself often thinking of crazy things my friends Adam and Nate did and trying to picture them in the place I was at. I was very impressed with Taylor students overall. They were extremely hospitable. The conference was student run and the different types of key-note speakers and workshop speakers that they brought in was very impressive.

My conference tour came to an end this past Wednesday when I returned from Philadelphia. I attended a two part conference. The first part was called The Placement Exchange. This is where virtually every single University and College in America who is hiring for Student Affairs positions comes and interviews potential candidates. I believe there was 3000 candidates there and about 11,000 interviews that were done in the span of 4 days. I personally contributed to that 11,000 with my 11 interviews I had with various institutions (I will update this blog in the next few weeks with where I get on campus interviews and such). The second part of the conference was the actual NASPA (National Association of Student Personnel and Administrators) conference. Even though I was running on fumes by the end of this conference and I'm still paying for it as I type this, it was definitely an amazing conference. My passion for Racial Reconciliation was fed, by various workshops. My anger towards SB1070(Arizona Immigration law) was renewed. My hope for Student Affairs was restored by the numerous amounts of diversity that was represented at the conference. It was so awesome to see so many different types of faces there.

Colorblindness

The concept of being colorblind(in terms of race) has come up several times over the last few weeks whether in discussion or in books that I am reading. I have to say my feelings towards this concept has changed dramatically since I was an 18 year old at Gordon. I think back then and how I wanted to assimilate and not shake up the majority culture, so the concept of colorblindness was welcomed. When people would tell me, "Hey man, I don't see you as Asian or a minority I see you as my brother Christ" I would answer, and sincerely say, "thank you". I didn't realize that 'yes I do want you to accept me as a brother in Christ and for what's inside of me, and not how I look on the outside', but what is on the outside also defines who I am as well.

For one to be colorblind would be to deny my culture, my heritage and those who have come before me. It denies the culture that my Mother and Father raised me in, and their parents and the parents before them. It denies the trek that my Mother and Father made from Korea and the sacrifices they made working their butts off to provide the best for me. It denies the racism and hate that they went through because they looked different or because they didn't understand English that well. I know this sounds extreme, but it's the truth. I guess you could look at it as someone denying your last name. If they would only recognize your first name. How would that make you feel?
Other: You're name is Scott isn't it?
Me: Yes it is, but I also have a last name as well.
Other: Well that's not important, because you're Scott.
Me: That's true, but there are also a thousand other Scott's. My last name Hwang has a long line of heritage and history behind it.
Other: That's great but I just see you as Scott, so don't worry about it.

I get the reasoning behind colorblindness. It's a way of saying, hey I'm not judging you for the color of your skin, but if you don't see and recognize the differences in people, then there is no way you can fully respect that person for who they are. No person can control what ethnicity they are, you are what you are. You can spend a lifetime ignoring it and denying it or you can try to embrace the way God created you to be. There are two sides to this sword because ethnocentrism can be just as hurtful to people, but that topic is for another post.

Colorblindness is a step in the right direction, but it's not enough. Racial Reconciliation is tricky and hard, and it can't be that simple, which is why colorblindness fails. It's too simple. So yes, I want you to see me as human and respect me for who I am and not how I look, but once you get to know me, you'll know that I am Korean, I am Asian American, and I'm no ashamed of it.

Still have a lifetime of learning ahead of me

It's amazing how after 20 plus years of living on this earth almost 30 (sigh), I still don't fully get my parents. There are cultural norms and traditions that are instilled when we're born and a lifetime of habits good/bad that we develop in our own way that are caused by our environment, surrounding culture, and family tradition. I think it's amazing that I have been able to function in so many different settings over the last 10 years, West Coast, East Coast, South, Midwest...I'm surprised nobody has punched me in the face because of all the different customs, traditions and rituals each place has to offer.

All of this to say...I'll never know it all and life is all about continuous learning. I honestly believe if you stop learning you might as well stop living. Knowledge is powerful, but it should never be used to make you feel above someone else, because each person has their own individual beliefs, and own understanding of how the world works. Who am I to say that my view is better than yours and my understanding of life is better than yours. Knowledge is about access, and if I have been privileged and blessed to gain it, how can I keep that against someone who hasn't had as easy a route?

This needs to be done in a delicate gray area of love. Love is complicated because it can be as soft and tender as an innocent newborn baby, but as sharp and stern as a father disciplining his son out of love. How do you balance when to give grace and not to give grace? If you give too much you're a pushover and people will walk all over you. If you don't give any at all you're a legalistic hard ass who no one likes. Life is constantly in the gray....there is no one right way to do things, but at the same time there are several wrong ways to do things as well. Awesome huh? I guess the cool thing about it all is that it allows God to give us a very unique individual experience in which we get to experience hardship, pain, and suffering, but also joy, laughter and most importantly LOVE.

Live, Learn, Love

Christmas

Here are all my beautiful little cousins. I wish I could see them more than once a year...