To listen or not to listen to Christmas Music and reflection on my SoCal Winters...

So the industry standard to listen to Christmas music is after Thanksgiving. I've often broken this rule several times because of a certain song by Mariah Carey which I happen to believe should be listened to year round, yes this one... http://www.youtube.co/watch?v=-8rY0Fyws20

After living on the east coast for the last 9 years, a certain thing called snow, has also put me in a mood to start listening to Christmas music before Thanksgiving. But what happens when it doesn't snow before Thanksgiving? Is it still ok?
I can't complain that it hasn't snowed yet because this years Western PA winter thus far reminds me of the cold, frigid, rough times of a Southern California winter. I'm not joking that we thought it was freezing in November, December and January. I distinctly remember going to school in a fleece and seeing other classmates in goose down parkas and Starter Jackets (You know what I'm talking about...I always wanted one, a Raiders one of course)


I also thought Winter ended in February and didn't know what being "Closed for the Season" meant until I went to college in Boston. I remember when I went home for Christmas break during my freshman year of college and I forced my high school friends to go to the beach. Anyways, I digress back to original topic, Christmas music.

Reasons to listen before Thanksgiving:
1. 30 days isn't enough to get your fix of songs that you can only listen to during one part of the year.
2. It helps you get into the Christmas Spirit. Not the Jesus is the reason for the season spirit, but the Buddy the Elf Christmas spirit that makes us feel all warm and goosey inside. (And yes maybe this is a reason to not listen to it because Jesus is the reason, but we often forget that)

3. Christmas decorations are up in malls and shops the day after Halloween so we might as well embrace it.
4. There aren't any Thanksgiving songs, except for Adam Sandler's "Turkey Song"

Reasons not to:
1. Some people don't like Christmas music. I will never understand this but I have friends who can't stand it.
2. You can't even say "Merry Christmas" anymore because it's PI, so why would you even think about listening to songs about it?
3. It's the same songs over and over, being sung by different people.



As for myself I have to admit I have sneaked in a little Mariah "All I want" and the Drifters "I'm dreaming of a White Christmas". I'm trying to ease myself into it. I haven't made a Christmas playlist on my itunes yet, but I think it's alright to want that Buddy the Elf feeling and you can only get it once a year, so you might as well try to get it going sooner rather then later.

Jon Foreman- Your Love is Strong

Heavenly Father
You always amaze me
Let your kingdom come
In my world and in my life
You give me the food I need
To live through the day
And forgive me as I forgive
The people that wronged me
Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window
The birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune
Or out of place
I look at the meadow
And stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl
On her wedding day

So why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

The kingdom of the heavens
Is now advancing
Invade my heart
Invade this broken town
The kingdom of the heavens
Is buried treasure
Will you sell yourself
To buy the one you've found?

Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

Our God in heaven
Hallowed be
Thy name above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us wicked sinners
Lead us far away from our vices
And deliver us from these prisons

My Philosophy of Multicultural Affiars in Higher Education

Ok so here was my final assignment for my Philosophical Foundations of Learning and Knowledge Class...

The purpose of higher education can be defined in several various ways, but whatever the motivation for a college degree, the primary objective is to learn. An idealistic hope for those who work in higher education would be for students to gain knowledge to be a better well-rounded individual who with her talents can help further society. College is a unique time where students can figure out who they are, what their likes and dislikes are, what their gifts and talents are, and also what they are passionate about. It is also a time where students will be pushed and molded. Students will not always get what they want, even though they feel entitled to it and will learn from discipline and difficult trials. Knowledge is acquired in the classroom and also outside the classroom by everyday social interactions, and individual decisions. Professionals in student affairs are put in place to help with the knowledge gained outside the classroom.
It is a daunting feeling to realize that you don’t know everything, and that you are one individual in a very vast and diverse world. This realization is the first step in becoming open minded and progressive to new and foreign ideas. Individuals are prideful, which leads to hurt and suffering. This mentality leads people to believe that their own opinions and beliefs are superior to others. Unfortunately no one likes being told what to do, how to think, or that there belief in a certain political party is inferior to another’s. The knowledge gained of taking in another person’s perspective on politics is an example of a social interaction that helps the process of an individuals learning outside of the classroom. How the person uses this experience is a different story.
My passions lie in racial reconciliation. My hope for students who come to college is for them to experience the joys and pains of human culture. As a student learns more about themselves, it is important for them to never stop being satisfied. This is not a call to be negative and pessimistic about everything, but a call for students to not give up on the unanswered, not to lose their inner childlike mindset of curiosity, and to never stop learning. The moment you stop learning and decide that you know everything is the moment that you stop living. No day is the same, and if you spend most of your energy trying to make it comfortable and safe, you miss most of the great things that are passing you by.
It is important for students to relate to others, realize their own gifts and abilities and care for others. These ideas are based off of learning theories of various philosophers, teachers and psychologists. The idea of relating to others is taken from Pablo Freire’s “Pedagogy of the Oppressed”. Freire believed that meeting people where they are would help bridge the gap that individualism creates and the end product would be far more productive. The realization of gifts and abilities is taken from Howard Gardner’s “Theory of Multiple Intelligences”. Gardner believed that each individual has different intelligences whether they be mathematical and rhetoric or musically and spatially. If each person uses his or her intelligences and talents then the world would be a better place. The idea to care for others is taken from Nell Nodding’s “Feminist Learning Theory”. Nodding believed that every person needs to be cared and loved for. This is shown in different ways, but if a person is cared for then the idea is that she will then pass that love to another person, and in turn would cause a domino effect on society.
Many students don’t realize that racism and prejudice opinions still exist in the United States of America. The problem definitely exists, but is somewhat socially accepted through different cultural jokes and undertones. The root of racism is ignorance. Ignorance towards not knowing much about another culture and believing that one’s own culture is superior to others and ignorance that learning of other cultures and ethnicities is unnecessary. It is necessary that students in college learn the importance of culture and ethnicities, while their minds are being shaped, molded and influenced by new thoughts, ideas and concepts. One of the most important ideas that is not being embraced, is multiculturalism. Multiculturalism can be defined in several ways, but my definition of multiculturalism is to understand, and respect different cultures and ethnicities. The biggest deterrent for multiculturalism on campuses is that students do not want to learn and embrace the idea, because as stated before they see no importance in learning about other cultures and ethnicities. As our society becomes more technologically advanced, and communication with other countries becomes more of a regular thing, as our economy continues to struggle and new creative ways of outsourcing products to different business across the world, students better realize that the world does not evolve around the United States of America anymore. Student Affairs must provide opportunities to learn the concept of multiculturalism. If students do not embrace the opportunities then the fault is placed on them, not the faculty and staff.

So you just have to hope...

I am currently taking a Philosophy of Education class and have come to a conclusion that anything that we do, any job that we have, anything that we're passionate about, we're never going to see it fully come to fruition. For example, my passion for racial reconciliation, and racial harmony will probably never be accomplished in my lifetime. It's daunting to look at the big picture (society). It's depressing to look at my immediate surroundings on a Christian college campus. You would think that Christians would be setting the example and loving each other as brothers and sisters in Christ, but we're just as broken and sinful as secular schools. Nevertheless I can't focus on the negatives, all the hoops and the politics. I can't say, "what's the use..." and give up. It's the little battles, the conversations I have with students, coworkers and friends. The blessing to see a persons views change for the better. The grassroots effort to be good stewards of the earth and live in a redemptive state. There is always going to be something wrong, and no matter how many times I achieve the next step, nothing will ever be good enough. Except for God.

At this point in my life I can see 2 stages. The first stage of life is experiencing, growing, and learning about yourself. You try to figure out how God has uniquely wired you as an individual and how you can impact the world with your talents, gifts, and passions.
The second stage of life is trying to figure out how to do what you're passionate about. Even if you are put in a position where you can do what you're passionate about, there will always be trials and tribulations. There will always be hoops and hurdles, and there will ALWAYS be politics. It seems sometimes that we spend 90% of our time fighting the logistical/political brokenness so that we can have the 10% of time to do what we truly love. I just recently had a conversation with my friend Lance. He is going through some political stickiness at work as a youth pastor. With all of the circumstances, only one student showed up to youth group. I told him, "you know what Lance, it's easy to be discouraged by that. But the sweet thing is that one student showed up, which means you got to do what you love and what you're passionate about. You got to love that student and teach him about Christ."

It is SO easy to focus on the negatives. I think it's because we spend the majority of our time focusing on and trying to fix the bad. But we are called to so much more. Think about your life. Think about it as a pie chart. How much of the pie can you fill with blessings, and positive things that are going on in your life right now? I would say the majority of the pie is positive and only a fraction of the pie is negative. We can't let the dark effect the light....the LIGHT always outshines the dark. We only think that the dark outweighs the light, because we're human, sinful, and we don't trust God.

3 Reasons why there is a lack of minorities on Christian College Campuses

I was having a discussion with one of my friends and other RD Austin and the topic of minorities on our campus came up. I came up with a theory of why all Christian Colleges are lacking in this area, and since I don't want to forget my theory, and because I thought the ideas were pretty good I thought I'd share them, so here we go.

1. The cost of a Christian College Education is high.
The new trend in higher education right now especially since our economy is not doing so hot is to attend Jr. College first and then transfer to a 4 year institution. If students are trying save money on State College tuition where does that leave private liberal arts institutions? Most minority students come from lower middle class or lower class families. To be able to afford a private college education would be a stretch.

2. Many minority students are not academically prepared for a Liberal Arts Education.
Speaking from my own experience, I grew up in a suburb of Los Angeles, went to public school my whole life and was in a very good school district. I did fairly well in High School academically but never really applied myself. I struggled mightily when I attended Gordon. I was not prepared at all for the work load, and expectations that my professors had for me. I am just now learning how to study as a graduate student. If I struggled academically coming from a good school district, where does that leave students who come from bad school districts?

The majority of minority students will be found in highly populated areas in and around major cities. The majority of public schools in urban areas are struggling to prepare there students academically. Students are being taught how to pass standardized tests rather than learning knowledge and information that would prove to be useful as they continue to grow physically and mentally. If a student can achieve high marks at their particular school, it doesn't necessarily mean that they are prepared to do well in college, especially at a small private college.

3. Minorities need to be highly adaptable and or have a missionary mindset in order to succeed at a Christian College.
As a minority attending Gordon I had no idea what I was getting into. I grew up in one of most diverse cities in the world and all of sudden my surroundings were the polar opposite. The majority of people around me were caucasian (90%). I had a couple of options at this point.

a. I could adapt to my surroundings and be willing and open to share my experiences and knowledge to other students. With a proper attitude of grace, meaning that I had to recognize that some students might say offensive things but had to recognize that the intent was not to be mean but out of ignorance/innocence.

b. Fully adapt, and not recognize my culture but embrace the majority culture (This is probably the most easiest for Asian students compared to other etnicities). This mentality would look something like this...I'm surrounded by white people, and I am comfortable with white culture, so I will not make race or culture an issue and continue to not step on toes and live as white as possible.

c. Unadapt and embrace my own culture i.e. challenge the status quo and die trying. This would mean fully embracing your racial or ethnic culture and let the majority culture influence you as little as possible. The problem with this option is that the mentality of having a proper attitude of grace mentioned in option a. is usually not taken. This is where the rub comes. White students would view these students as very ethnocentric and over-sensitive to racial issues, maybe to the point where small issues would be turned into much bigger ones.

So what is the solution?

The first obstacle of finances is going to be an ongoing problem for the rest of our lives and for generations to come. To Gordon's credit they did establish a program called the Clarendon Scholars Program for more information about it click here...http://www.gordon.edu/clarendonscholars
The challenge for Christian Colleges is that finances are always tight, especially when they are tuition driven. But if they begin to take a risk and expand the pool of which they try to attract students to markets of students of all types of backgrounds and ethinicities, then the challenge of getting in the numbers will be easier. If you have a bigger pond, there are more fish, more fish means it's easier to catch them...Yes you might be use to trout, but tuna and salmon taste pretty good too.

The second obstacle and third obstacle go hand in hand I believe. This initiative needs to start from the top down, meaning upper administration and board members need to make diversity a priority because major changes need to happen in order to fix these obstacles. Here are some things that I think need to happen at Christian Colleges in order for us to see a major change.

The obvious answer is that there needs to be more of a presence of minorities on faculty and staff. Students need to be able to go to professors of there own ethnicity and culture. This was vital for me at Gordon. I had one professor who was Chinese. She understood the cultural battle I was going through with my parents and was vital in my choices in the career path I took as well as helping me to graduate from college.

Professors need to adapt and change their way of thinking. Tim Clydesdale, author of "First Year Out" mentions the idea that the true academic student is a rare bread. Meaning the student that comes to college to purely learn, and gain knowledge to be a more well rounded person is few and far between. The majority of students come to college because it's just the next step after high school and it will get them a higher paying job. Am I saying that academic standards need to come down? Absolutely not. But the way we teach things does need to change. The lecture and note method isn't as effective anymore, especially to students who grew up in a urban public education system. Interactive learning, and other new creative ways to teach, needs to be the next step for ALL college students not just minorities to succeed.

Administration needs to continue to push diversity programs and racial reconciliation. I don't know how to sugarcoat this so I won't. White students think that racial problems do not exist because they haven't dealt with it first hand (because everyone looks and talks like them). This also means that faculty need to buy in to the fact that diversity is a problem on Christian Campuses. The more Christian Colleges do to recognize that there is a problem the more minority students will notice. It's ugly, it's messy, but it's so worth it. What does it say about the kingdom of God when our Christian product of education can't attract different cultures and races? We're not only failing other cultures but we are failing our students right now, for not giving them a proper perspective of what the world has to offer.

"Light Bulb" Moment

"Don't program just to program" I said to the RA's. Trying to plea to them the idea that if you're passionate about being an RA and what you do, you won't look at programs as a task to check off but something that you desire to do because it will help fulfill your passion. It then hit me personally...how often do I do things because I have to or just to check them off? I love building relationships with students. How many of my requirements in my job are to enable me to build relationships? Doesn't studying make me a more knowledgeble and a well rounded RD? Doesn't putting on hall programs allow me to spend time with students in my building? I then thought about how I need to apply this thought process into my whole life.
My passion for God...
Shouldn't I want to read scripture so I can know him better? I have always struggled with reading scripture and felt guilty because as a Christian I should read the bible everyday. I was looking at this virtue and pulling it down into a worldly level, as a task I needed to do, and often failed to do. I always heard about others and their challenge to desire to want to know God more, and how reading scripture was something you should want to do. I always balked at that idea, why would I desire to do something that I can't make a priority.

This reminds me of a scene in the movie "The Breakup"

Brooke and Gary get into a fight after hosting a dinner for Brooke's family. Gary immediately goes to the living room to play video games after the guests leave. Brooke get's frustrated with Gary because she just cooked a meal and there are dishes piled up in the kitchen. (Gary is somewhat justified for just wanting to relax because he came from a long hard day at work...)
The fight escalates and Gary reluctantly says something like, "ok, ok, I'll do the damn dishes." Brooke then says, "I don't want you to just do the dishes I want you to want to clean the dishes."
Then Gary yells..."Why I would I ever WANT to clean the dishes?"

It's true...why would anyone ever want to do the dishes? But at the same time, if you love someone and know how hard they have worked, you should desire to help them and serve them in any way possible....i.e. to want to clean the dishes. Gary eventually learns this lesson, after he loses Brooke and tells her "It's not about doing the things you love, it's about doing things with the one you love! "

Camp....loved it

So I've been back from camp for about 2 weeks. I started RD training and have been trying to recover physically from a long, tiring, but awesome summer. This summer was a special one because it was my first time back since 2005. I think the craziest and sweetest part about being back was seeing old campers that I worked with now serving on Leadership, as Kitchen Crew Disciplers and Counselors. It was also kind of nice to have some structure to my day. Yes, you might think I'm crazy, but it was nice to get into the habit of getting up at 7 everyday. The days are long at camp, but they fly, just like the weeks, and the months. All of sudden I was done at camp again, and I didn't even realize it.
3rd term was a special one because my parents came out and served. My mom was the camp nurse and my Dad helped out with grounds for 2 weeks. Although it was a really rough start for my Dad, I am really thankful and grateful that they got to experience camp. It's so difficult to explain what happens there, so a lot people assume it's some type of cult (not joking), but for my parents to experience competions betweens Romans and Galatians, Summer Life Nights, Surprise Night, the Wrestling Meet etc...was priceless. They definitely saw that God was working at camp through the counselors and the campers and they saw that I wasn't wasting my summers when I was in college.

By Your Side by Tenth Ave North

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

A deep breath and peace

So I realize that my last entry was a little extreme. To those of you who follow my blog and have no idea what's going on, I apologize, I tend to get a little dramatic at times. I'm fine. Call me if you're really that curious. This past Sunday I flew out to LA for a little vacation at home. On Monday I got the great opportunity to sleep in my own bed at home and to sleep in. I ate lunch with my Mom and Dad and then I got to go to my favorite coffee shop, Buster's in South Pas.

Flashback....I don't know what it is about Buster's, but I think a lot of the nostalgia I have for it has a lot to do with that they offer some sweet alternatives to coffee. As a Junior High kid I didn't care for coffee, but at Buster's I had plenty of choices between Lime Rickey's, Italian Soda's and Root Beer/ Sherbert Freeze's. As a kid in Junior High, it was sweet to go to a place like Buster's on a hot day(in SoCal almost everyday is hot) and get a Flavored Ricky. We all know that Junior High sucked, it did for me at least, so Buster's became an escape for me. I felt like a grown up there, because I spent money that I had saved up, and I could just rest and relax there without having to see other kids from school or deal with my parents.

All of the previous thoughts kind of hit me on Monday as I sat upstairs in Buster's with a cup of coffee (yes I drink coffee now) and I got to journal about what's going on in my life. Do you ever have those moments where everything is good? You really can't stress about anything because it's all kind of behind you. For instance, on Monday, I was in home in South Pasadena at Buster's with no schedule, no homework for grad school, no incident reports to write, no duty phone to cover, no meeting to attend, no real responsibility and nothing to stress about. I feel like those times of peace are little sliver's of what heaven is like. Everything is "right" (In heaven everything is right...no quotation marks, but on earth there is always something wrong even if it doesn't affect us as individuals), and God just kind of shine's his love and peace on you. I thought to myself, "God love's me, and I can't complain..."

This peace has subsided of course as the week has passed.. I continue to realize I can only take so much time with my parents...I love them to death, but there is a reason why I live across the country still. I am excited to get back to Pennsylvania because that means I get to be back at Summer's Best. I don't know if I have said this on my blog, but camp is a very special place for me. I have grown so much there in all aspects, physically, mentally, spiritually...and I get a second shot at being back there again (Most people don't get the summer's off to work at camp). Hopefully I'll get to post throughout the summer about it.

That's all I got.

dang...

I am very tired mentally, physically, and emotionally. Those of you close to me know that I have been dealing with some stuff. The song "Kindness" by Chris Tomlin has been ringing through my head lately. The chorus ends with the line "Your love, Your love, Is better than life". I know this line is SO true, but it is SO hard to really believe it sometimes. I know from my experience that God has a plan for my life and he knows what is best. Why is it so hard to realize that? How come I always convince myself that I know what is best for me? I was trying to drill in my head, that I need to trust the Lord in all of this and that he has a plan, sometimes it's not enough to pound it into your head....it still sucks. Life is still hard sometimes. I often watch the movie "Swingers" when I get down and these 2 conversations (Censored) between Mikey and his buddy Rob kind of sums up how I feel...kind of.

Mike: Okay, so what if I don't want to give up on her?
Rob: You don't call.
Mike: But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her.
Rob: Right.
Mike: So I don't call either way?
Rob: Right.
Mike: So what's the difference?
Rob: There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back.
Mike: So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her?
Rob: Right.
Mike: Well that sucks.
Rob: Yeah, it sucks.
Mike: So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her?
Rob: Right. Although probably more likely the opposite.
Mike: What do you mean?
Rob: I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her.
Mike: Well what if she comes back first?
Rob: Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.
Mike: There's the rub.
Rob: There's the rub.

and this conversation...

Rob: You don't look at the things that you have, you only look at the stuff that you don't have. Those guys are right about you - you're money.
Mike: Then why won't she call?
Rob: She won't call because you left. she's got her own life to deal with, man, and that's in New York... alright? And she's a sweet girl, and I love her to pieces, but f- her, man. You gotta get on with your life. You gotta let go of the past. And Mikey, when you do, I'm telling you: the future is beautiful, alright? Look out the window. It's sunny every day here. It's like manifest destiny. Don't tell me we didn't make it. We made it! We are here. And everything that is past is prologued to this. All of the shiz that didn't kill us is only - you know, all that shiz. You're gonna get over it.
Mike: How did you get over it? I mean, how long did it take?
Rob: Sometimes it still hurts. You know how it is, man. It's like, you wake up every day and it hurts a little bit less, and then you wake up one day and it doesn't hurt at all. And the funny thing is, is that, this is kinda wierd, but it's like, it's like you almost miss that pain.
Mike: You miss the pain?
Rob: Yeah, for the same reason that you missed her... because you lived with it for so long.

It's been a while

So a lot has happened since my last entry. Over Easter Break I got to go up to Boston to see a bunch of college friends. Here are some pictures from the visit.


I don't know why I have that look on my face...maybe it was the smell of the ocean because I haven't seen it in so long...


We somehow got into jumping pictures...this one was pretty sweet.


Another jumper...kind of. That's my Baryshnikov impersonation.

The visit was really good. There is something about being face to face with friends that makes things so much better. I had some great conversations with friends and really got to spend some quality time with people that I love and miss so much.

This past Tuesday I went to my first Sox game in a couple of years. I had a good streak going for a while. Last year was the first time I did not get to see the Sox play live for first time in 8 years. So after a long year without the Sox live I got to see them play the Indians at the Jake (Sadly now Progressive Field). Unfortunately the Sox lost because of a couple of errors, but I still had a good time. Here are a couple of pictures.



Me and one of my students Tom. He was really excited...obviously.


We had pretty good seats. If this was at Fenway, I would have had to cut my left hand to sit this close.

The school year is slowly coming to an end. As I look back on the year, it has been a really good one. There have definitely been some tough moments, and I am SO ready for this Academic year to come to a close. But the good times definitely outweigh the bad. I think if the bad outweighed the good it would be time to change what I was doing.

Up next is a quick trip home to LA to get some rest and relaxation before I jump into camp. I don't know how much blogging I'll get to do over the summer. Sorry to dissapoint all 3 of you that actually read this blog...but until the next time.

Visting CC

This past weekend I visited Covenant for the first time since I left. It was a very good weekend overall. I got to catch up with students and old co-workers that I have missed dearly. At the same time, I felt confirmation and affirmation that I made the right decision to work at Geneva. As much as I miss the people at Covenant, I realized that Covenant was difficult in certain aspects. Mainly, I didn't have any type of social life outside of my job. I worked very hard and enjoyed building relationships with students, attending activities, plays and sporting events. Outside of those things, I wasn't taking care of myself. I didn't have friends or a social network in the area to help me "get away"...
I have sat here for the last fifteen minutes trying to figure out how to express some of the other difficulties that I experienced. There really is no way to express them without sounding like I was not grateful for my time at Covenant. The fact is I am grateful for my time there. They took a chance on me, and I gained valuable experience. I made lifelong memories, and friends. Like all aspects of life, not everything is perfect, and there were things that were said, and actions that were taken that were not the best, in my opinion.
Like water under the bridge, Covenant has moved on and most importantly I have moved on.

That's what the weekend was about for me. To get some closure, see students and friends that I didn't get to say goodbye to.

Alaska

It has become a tradition for me to go on a mission trip during spring break with college students for the last couple of years. This year was no exception as I got the chance to go to Alaska. A fellow RD of mine Sarah, grew up in Eagle River, which is right outside of Anchorage. She started the trip last year and decided to continue the trip again. Sarah and I got to lead 9 students for a week and half to help serve troubled youth and homeless people in Anchorage. Here is a picture of the group...

(It was cold...and yes the sun glasses were necessary because the sun glared off the snow..)

We made the long trek last Saturday on March 14. We arrived in Alaska around 7:30pm local time. On Sunday a lifelong dream came true for me as I got to witness the start of the Iditarod (the 1000 mile plus dog sledding race that has been exagerated and fantasized through movies and books such as "Iron Will", "Balto", and a a short story I read in elementary school, about a kid who won the Iditarod to help save his house after his mother died...I can't remember the name of it, but it was a sweet story). Here is a picture...

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Click on people's faces in the photo to tag them.

The first half of the week we worked at The Covenant House. An organization that is set up in big cities across the US to help serve troubled youth. Most of the full time staff (4 or 5 of them) are professional counselors and social workers, who barely have enough time to keep up with the youth that come in and out of the facilities. That gave us a great opportunity to help do things that the staff never has time to do...i.e. wash windows, base boards, and walls, steam clean sofas and carpets, and organize a game closet.

The second half of th week our group got to help renovate a shower house ministry for the Downtown Soup Kitchen. The DSK is a Christian based ministry that helps feed homeless and the underpriveleged as well as give away clothes in Anchorage 365 days a year. They have 2 or 3 part time staff members and many volunteer workers. Because they only have a couple of workers, a function of their ministry the shower house has been slightly neglected. It is used once a week to give homeless people an opportunity to take a shower, wash their clothes and have a place to call "home" for at least an hour or so. Our group got the priviledge of remodeling the house to make it more welcoming and functional. At first I was overwhelmed with the project. I didn't think we would have enough time to finish the job, but by the grace of God and the hard work by all of our team members we exceeded expectations (We repainted the kitchen, living room and 2 bathrooms, put up new curtains and blinds, rearranged a living room counter and retiled a table, amongst lots of other stuff) Here are two before and after pictures. This is just one of the rooms we painted and redecorated...


(Before)


(After)

All in all it was a great week.
-Sarah's family the Dompier's were awesome hosts. Home cooked meals every night and lots of laughter, fun and fellowship. I got to experience first hand, a family that truly loved each other, that lived very simply and tried to glorify God in all that they did.
-Our group of students were awesome as well. I never heard one complaint about anything. They never whined, and trusted Sarah and I to make decisions on behalf of the group. They worked their tales off and God really used us.
-I got to go to Alaska for the second time in my life. This time it was without my parents and it was to serve. I don't know why it's such a big deal to me, but to go places that I have been before with my parents by myself makes me feel like I have accomplished something. Like I have achieved another step of independence (Granted my first and biggest step of independence was 9 years ago when I decided to move 3000 miles away from home to attend Gordon). In a sense I feel like it makes them proud too, because they have raised me and put me into a position to where I can go to places like Madrid, Spain and Anchorage, Alaska.

Things that I learned on this trip:
-God is awesome and created beautiful places like this...


-I totally could have been one of the troubled youth that lived at Covenant House or a homeless person in Alaska, but for some reason God had different plans for me. Because of this, I am CALLED to use the advantages of a loving and supportive family to serve others.

-Family is important.

-I want a dog.


-On the inside we are all torn apart, and ugly. We all have issues and struggles, some more then others. On the outside we can look fine, and sometimes beautiful. No matter how we are both inside and out, God uses us for his purpose.

So, if you can go to Alaska go. If you can do a mission trip do it.

Leadership Weekend

For several years I have wanted to be on Leadership at Summer's Best. I often heard of this mythical weekend called "Leadership Weekend" and often thought...I should be there! This past weekend was a great time and also a really encouraging time that allowed me to reflect and realize how far I have come since my first time at camp in 2002. Throughout the weekend we heard devotionals from full-time staff members. I could not help but think to myself..."I thought I was ready for this responsibility when I was younger, but I really wasn't. God has a purpose and he sees how I can serve in this role." My perspective changed from, I should be on Leadership, to I'm excited in the way God will use me on Leadership.

Throughout certain discussions and conversations about camp, I realized how much I have grown in maturity in the last 3 years. God has put me in College Administrative positions which have forced me to grow up. To constantly be on the lookout for others and not myself. To see the needs of college students. To learn how to be a more well-rounded man of God.
For example: Can I still be crazy and goofy? Yes, but do I need to be like that all the time? No.
All of this to say...I am super excited for this summer. I felt Satan trying to bring me down in little aspects of whispering doubt, or thoughts of pride, but I know that I just need to soak up this experience and make the most of it.

After being away from camp for a few summers, and getting this unique opportunity to come back and serve, I can't help but feel so grateful for an opportunity to "lace up the cleats again". I relate it to "The Natural". A movie about a baseball player named Roy Hobbs who had a ton of potential and God given talent. He is very young and makes some mistakes and eventually his life choices cause his baseball career to come to sudden halt. A couple of years later, he gets a second chance to resurrect his career. He knows how special it is and what a privilege it is to play the game so he makes sure to make the most of it.

I'm not saying I'm going to take camp to the World Series and hit a walk off home-run into the lights and cause sparks to fly all over the field...
Watch it Here, it's so worth it...


But I am going to try...ha

And so it goes...

My mom called me this morning to inform me that after 93 years, my Dad's mom passed away late last night. I really don't know how to react because she lived in Korea her whole life and I only met her once, when I was in 4th grade. I don't remember a lot about her. One vivid memory I have was... she was trying to have a conversation with me, and I got tired of speaking Korean, so I decided to speak English back to her, and she had no idea what I was saying. In my little 4th grade head, I thought she would for some reason, and she kept on asking me...."What are you saying?" in Korean. My Dad stepped in and said something like..."Scott, you need to speak Korean to her, or else she doesn't understand you..."and then I was like..."hmm ok..." and because I was a little punk I just ran off without finishing the conversation.
I could tell that she loved me. She made breakfast for me everyday that I was there. She drew me a bath every night, and I remember her just smiling at me, for no reason at all. Although I didn't get to know her too well here on earth I look forward to catching up with her in heaven. Rest in Peace Grandma. I'm glad you're not in pain anymore and that you can be home with Grandpa.

Reading is a good thing

I just got off the phone with my buddy Clark who asked me how things were going. I went on about the usual things, talking about my building and students that were getting into little incidents, and about school and then I said..."I've never read so much in my life... but it's a good thing I think." He confirmed and said, "yeah, that is good for you."
Here are some sweet excerpts and quotes that I have found in a couple of the books I'm reading.

Fabric of Faithfulness by Steven Garber
"Very often in life people don't want to tell you the not-so-good thing. It is important to develop a community of people who are honest to keep you straight."

"As I have gotten involved in politics and business, I am more and more convinced that the people you choose to have around you have more to do with how you act upon what you believe than what you read or the ideas that influence you."

"One of my prayers materially is the Proverbs 30 prayer: "Lord, give me enough that I shall not want and cry against you-but don't give me so much so that I am full and forget you." I pray that for myself because I know my limitations. God, don't make me wealthy because I might forget you. So before we even get to that point, why don't we not aspire to wealth. It's a struggle not to let the heart get what it wants. But God is a shield to those who walk in integrity. My Life is safe. I'm a single woman. I'm vulnerable to a lot of things. But I know that I am safe when I am obedient, and I feel insecure if I step out. This is a set of internal boundaries that I know and I walk within sometimes better than others."

Forgetting Ourselves on Purpose by Brian Mahan
"Now-here is my secret: I tell it to you with an openness of heart that I doubt I shall ever achieve again, so I pray that you are in a quiet room as you hear these words. My secret is that I need God-that I am sick and can no longer make it alone. I need God to help me give, because I no longer seem to be capable of giving; to help me be kind, as I no longer seem capable of kindness; to help me love, as I seem beyond being able to love."

"The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."

"In ambition, the prestige of the achievement often seems to depend more on the dignity of the role itself than on the dignity of the one who fills it."

Table for Two by Caedmon's Call

Danny and I spent another late night over pancakes,
Talkin' 'bout soccer
And how every man's just the same
We made speculation
On the who's and the when's of our futures
And how everyone's lonely
But still we just couldn't complain

And how we just hate being alone
Could I have missed my only chance
And now I'm just wasting my time
By looking around
But you know I know better
I'm not gonna worry 'bout nothing
Cause if the birds and the flowers survive
Then I'll make it okay
I'm given a chance and a rock
see which one breaks a window
See which one keeps me up all night and into the day

Because I'm so scared of being alone
That I forget what house I live in
But it's not my job to wait by the phone
For her to call

Well this day's been crazy
But everything's happened on schedule
from the rain and the cold
To the drink that I spilled on my shirt
'Cause You knew how You'd save me
before I fell dead in the garden
And You knew this day
long before You made me out of dirt

And You know the plans that You have for me
And You can't plan the end and not plan the means
And so I suppose I just need some peace
Just to get me to sleep.

random but cool...

My friends Marti and Sarah put this up on their blogs so I thought I'd give it a shot. I feel like we use to get this stuff in mass emails and now we're getting them on facebook and posting them on our blogs. It's amazing how this stuff evolves into the new things that we do. Friends, feel free to copy and paste and put it up on your own blog.

Some Things I’ve Done & Not Done in My Life

Started your own blog - Yup. Sometimes I think I should just get rid of it, but it's lasted this long...
Slept under the stars - Yes, freshman year of college we slept on the beach and froze our tails off....I don't think I got any sleep actually.
Played in a band - Kind of...I've been part of a praise band, and have been part of singing groups...
Watched a meteor shower - Yes, junior year of college, we woke up at 2am...it was cold, but cool
Given more than you can afford to charity - At points in my life I have....yes
Been to Disneyland/world - I grew up going to Disneyland and love it. I finally got to go to Disneyworld with the Fam a couple of years ago.
Climbed a mountain - El Capitan and Half Dome in Yosemite.
Sang a solo - Yup.

Taught yourself an art from scratch - Taught myself to play the Guitar.
Held a praying mantis - No...this is a random one. I don't feel like I'm missing out either.
Had a pillow fight - Yup

Taking an overnight train - No.

Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - Oh yeah, I call them mental health days...
Built a snow fort - Yup, with my cousins.
Gone skinny dipping - I have not, and I feel like I don't really want to either.
Seen a total eclipse - Yes.
Watched a sunrise or sunset - Yes, the last sunset I watched, I was in the Outer Banks with my Fellows Friends and I was PISSED that I had to be up that early.
Seen Niagara Falls in Person - Yup. Maid of the Mist Cruise and all..
Seen an Amish community - Kind of...I don't know....everyone in Western PA is amish right?
Taught yourself a new language - No.
Had enough money to be truly satisfied - No, I could always use a little more money and I think I will always think that.
Gone rock climbing - yes
Sung karaoke - As my friend Clark would say..."Is a pigs a$$ pork?" Definitely could sing Karaoke every night if I could.
Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant - No
Walked on a beach by moonlight - Spring Break, Junior Year...Marco Island.
Gone scuba diving or snorkeling - Nope, would love to one day.
Played in the mud - I'm sure I have, but I can't remember. Maybe I haven't because my mom is a clean freak.
Gone to a drive-in theater - Yes, I went with SB2W people during ruddy week one year.
Started a business - Does a lemonade stand count?
Served at a soup kitchen - No, but I will during Spring Break in Alaska.
Gotten flowers for no reason - No, unfortunately guys don't get flowers for no reason.
Donated blood, platelets or plasma - I have donated blood before.
Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp - No, but I have been to several memorials and museums
Saved a favorite childhood toy -I think my mom gave them all away...poop.
Visited the Lincoln Memorial - Yes.
Eaten Caviar - I don't think so. I've eaten fish eggs....but not "caviar".

Stood in Times Square - Yes, several times....it's pretty sweet.
Broken a bone - Yes, I was like 1 and half or something I don't remember it. A garage door collapsed on my toe apparently.
Been on a speeding motorcycle - No, a Scooter yes.
Had your picture in the newspaper - Yes. Mostly school papers.
Read the entire Bible - I'm trying to...it's hard.
Visited the White House - Outside of it. They don't give tours anymore because of Sept. 11
Killed and prepared my own meat - Fish? Does that count?
Had chickenpox - I think so...I'm not sure
Sat on a jury - I was suppose to do Jury Duty, but the day I was suppose to go in was September 11, 2001....I didn't think I'd mention that date twice.
Met someone famous - Andy Dick, Coolio, Selma Hyek, Aaron Neville. I lived in LA so...yes.
Joined a book club - When I was a kid I was in a book club at the local library so I could get prizes like Pizza Hut Gift Certificates
Lost a loved one - Yes.
Owned a cell phone - Yes. Who doesn't?
Been stung by a bee - Yes, I was really young. I stomped on a bee and thought it was dead so I picked it up and then it stung me....bastard.

Bungee jumped- No.
Visited Paris- No, one day hopefully.
Watched a lightning storm at sea- For living close to sea for most of my life I have not done this, it must look sweet though
Adopted a child- No, I hope to one day.
Had food poisoning - Yes, it sucks...
Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty- No, I've seen it from the outside but they don't let you go in it anymore because of a certain event that happened on a date that I have mentioned too much already.
Seen the Mona Lisa in France- No, again one day hopefully.
Hitchhiked- No. I don't think I ever will.
Held a lamb- Not so much. There are not too many lambs rolling around in Pasadena CA.
Been to a Broadway show in NY- Yes, Phantom of the Opera. Amazing.
Ran a Marathon- No, I ran a 10k for running class in college and almost died.
Been in three states at once - No...maybe I've been to the 4 Corners, I don't remember.
Ridden in a gondola in Venice- No, one day.
Hit a home run- Yes, in Intramural Softball in college, but it didn't count because Guys weren't alllowed to hit HR's....but I hit a couple in little bat this year too.
Been on a Cruise- Yes, a day cruise in Alaska and I got SO Sea Sick I wanted to die.
Visited the birthplace of your Ancestors Yes, I went to Korea in 4th grade.
Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person- No, again something that I hope to do.
Seen Michelangelo’s David- No, see answer above
Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt - Yes, I was too young to really enjoy it so I want to do it again.
Visited Africa- No, add it to the list.
Been transported in an ambulance- Nope, and I hope I don't have to either.
Gone deep sea fishing- Nope.
Seen the Sistine Chapel in person- List it....
Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris- list
Kissed in the rain- Nope. Came close though
Been to Grace Kelley’s grave in Monaco- eh? No, and I don't really care.
Visited the Great Wall of China- List
Taken a martial arts class- I was born with that stuff so there was no need.
Swam in the Mediterranean Sea- No
Visited Russia- List
Sold Girl Scout cookies- Nope, I don't think guys are allowed to sell them. I'll probably have to sell them with my daughter one day though.
Gone whale watching - Yes, 6th grade field trip. I got sea sick, it sucked...
Gone sky diving- No, but I will one day....
Bounced a check- No
Pieced a quilt -No, pieced a quilt? I think this survey was made for females...call me sexist.
Toured the Everglades- No
Been fired from a job - No
Seen the Changing of the Guards in London - No, in Ottawa yes. List it
Seen the Grand Canyon in person - Yes. My family tried to hike down it, without any water. I was 4, so my cousins took turns carrying me on their shoulders all the way up....hahaha
Published a book- No, one day I hope to finish, "The Asian Glass Ceiling"....look for it on the NYT Best Sellers List.
Visited the Vatican- No, list it
Bought a brand new car- I leased a brand new Civic and plan to buy it...so kind of.
Walked in Jerusalem- No, list
Saved someone’s life - No.
Had a baby - No I don't think that is physically possible, although that one "guy" who has been on the news lately had one....I hope to produce several baby's one day.
Seen the Alamo in person - No
Swam in the Great Salt Lake- No
Been involved in a law suit- No

Happy 2009

After a couple weeks in Southern California, I got to go to Camp Soles for the Summer's Best New Years reunion. It was a great couple of days hanging out with old friends and catching up as well as being able to play games like the Techmo Freeze Bowl, War Ball, and Snow Football. I also found out that I will be officially at camp this summer running Programs. This has been my dream job at camp and things always never worked out for me to do it, so after many years, my dream has come true! I'm excited and nervous at the same time because I feel like the bar has been set high for me and I want to live up to the expectations. Glory goes to God, and he'll be with me this summer. Can't wait.

I then headed down to Charlottesville, VA to see my old Fellows friends. It's always so refreshing to see them. No matter how long it has been since we've talked or seen each other, it seems we can just jump right back into things. C-ville will always be special to me. So many great experiences, and memories are all tucked away "on the grounds" at UVA, at restaurants, bars, and especially at Trinity Pres Church. I grew so much there spiritually and mentally, and met some of my best friends. My year in Charlottesville, was one of the hardest years of my life, but also one of my best. It just goes to show that you can't always have everything. There will always be some aspect of your life that isn't going well. I always have to remember that life is not suppose to be perfect, or else we would be living on earth as Christians for no reason. How boring would life be if we got everything we wanted all the time? We would lose our dependence on God. I think God gives us hardships sometimes to shake us up and put us in our place.

(Group pic in DC)

(Dance party at the Wood's...Beat it)

As I look back at 2008 I can really say, what a difference an year makes. At this time last year I was running Spring Orientation at Covenant. I could have never imagined that I would be at Geneva, working as an RD, and taking grad school classes. It was a tough decision to leave, but really what I needed.

2009 has already started with a bang. I feel so busy and overwhelmed already and the semester has just begun.

Big events to look out for in upcoming posts.
-My first Leadership Weekend....
-Spring Break trip to Alaska
-Easter Break trip to Boston...hopefully
-First Red Sox game of the year after not going to one last year for the first time in 8 years.
-2009 Scott Hwang Summer wedding tour (more brief this summer because of camp)
-Parents visit camp!!! My mom is going to be a nurse for 3rd term. I can't wait for them to see and experience the place that has impacted me so much.