Convictions

I realize I'm not a regular blogger. I was not aware that in order to be a good blogger you need to blog at least once a day. The more regular your posts are, the more likely people will repeatedly come back to your blog. Nevertheless I don't think I'm going to start blogging everyday, let alone once a week.

I began to ask myself why not? Is it because I'd have to dig deeper and analyze and expose more of myself in order to stay relevant? Is it because I'm apathetic in a lot of ways in my life when it comes to my faith, my job, and my discipline? Is it because I think I'm too good or too busy for it? The answer is yes to all of the above.

The fear to dig deeper within because I'm afraid of what I will find. A sense that I cannot handle anything else at this point. No more disappointment, no more guilt, no more shame, I am done with all of those things. But let's be honest. Can you really escape your inner-self and the core that makes you? Their have been and still are temporary remedies for people; drugs, alcohol, sex etc. or for us "Christians" maybe it is staying too busy and overcommitment so you don't have to think about things, or fully delving into your work because society approves of such an obsession. Whatever it is, it all catches up with you eventually. It reminds me of the Avett Brothers song "The Weight of Lies"

The weight of lies will bring you down
And follow you to every town
Cause nothing happens here that doesn’t happen there
So when you run make sure you run
To something and not away from
Cause lies don’t need an aeroplane to chase you anywhere

But the good news, is that no matter what is eating at you. There is always the solid foundation of God. The good news of the gospel, and nothing like a little perspective that will help you realize how amazingly blessed you are. The song that comes to mind in order to counter "The Weight of Lies" is the song "In Christ Alone"

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

Dig Deeper, reach into the bottom of your soul and find the dark muck, and mud. The more you reveal the more God will heal with his grace and love.