Back from NCMSLC

This past weekend I attended the National Christian Multi-Cultural Student Leadership Conference. I along with 3 other staff members and some 50 plus students made the trip to Eastern University near Philadelphia, PA. As soon as we arrived the students received a lecture from Tony Campolo. Tony spoke on different controversial topics like homosexuality and illegal immigration. His theories on these topics were outside of the box and something you wouldn't think a "Christian" would say. But that was the purpose of Tony's talk, to start conversation and a mentality of approaching things in a different way. Students were exposed to several different speakers and presenters throughout the weekend.

I attended a workshop on racism and was challenged by the speakers theories and philosophies towards it. According to Ernest Crosby, when we get frustrated or angry when we see or experience racism it is because we personally haven't dealt with the pain and sores that we have within ourselves. We have sores and scabs over our hearts, and when we get rubbed in the wrong way the sores and scabs are exposed. We need to come to peace with ourselves and begin the healing process. We also are called to speak up when we see or experience racism. If someone tells a racial joke or when a racial act occurs we need to call them out. We are afraid to offend or to cause trouble but without exposing racism it will always be a part our society. Racism will die if we talk about it openly, and more and more people begin to understand why something is offensive.
I was convicted by Ernest' words, because I often step back or don't say anything when something bothers me racially. I got to put this conviction into action when a student from another college said a racial joke about Japanese people while presenting to the larger group. I pulled her aside and told her that I was offended by the joke. I'm not sure how if she really understood why I pulled her aside but I was happy that I talked to her about it and got my feelings off my chest. Hopefully she will think about what she says in the future.

My favorite part of the weekend overall was that I got to meet several students from Geneva and bond with them. It's amazing how one weekend brings people together. It was great to laugh and joke around with students in a different setting.

Life and Death

I received a call this morning from my Mom. I knew what the call was about once I saw that it was her calling. My uncle finally lost his battle with cancer. After going in and out of remission, the cancer spread through his body and finally took its toll.
I got to speak to my uncle about a month ago on the phone, I kind of thought that it would be the last time I would get to talk to him. He kept on giving me advice and lecturing me on different things. Till the end he was still looking out for me.
When I was a little kid he use to reward me every Sunday for going to church. I would get a pack of baseball cards and a slurpee from 7-11. We would go over to his house and I would make him watch "Spaceballs" over and over again, but he would sit there with me every time. We use to go on hikes together and he would always have his whistles and hand them out in case someone got lost. He LOVED nature and being outside. He loved baseball. Maybe thats where I get my passion for the Red Sox. I remember watching the Kirk Gibson homerun with him in 88. Life was so simple then. Everyone in my family loved everyone and there was no complications.
As I grew up more and started putting things together, I realized that my uncle was at the center of lots of drama on my mothers side of the family. I have been pretty upset with him and placed a lot of blame on him for not being able to get together for holidays, and coming in between siblings, but I realize now that he was just a human and he made some mistakes.

I forgive you Sam-chun and I love you. Thanks for loving me and caring for me.

Picking Up the Pieces as I try to live redemptively

It's amazing how things in one aspect of my life can be going so well and how things in another are so broken. My weekend sums it up in a nutshell. I had a really relaxing day off yesterday which included hanging out with some of the RD's playing some video games, going out to Chipotle for dinner and doing some shopping at the mall.

I called my mom last night and she gave me word that my uncle who has been battling cancer for the last 3 years is finally conceding and will let the disease take its course. Mentally and physically he can't handle any more chemo and he just wants to be now. The cancer has now spread throughout his body and only time will tell how long he will last.
My Dad is thinking about taking a job in Florida which would mean that my mom would try to go back and forth from LA to check up on my our house and my sister who is currently living at home. This necessarily isn't a bad thing but it adds more complications into things. Like, where do I go for Christmas break? and my mom also said, "it would be nice if you could live at home with your sister during your summer off..." (Not my idea of a great summer...and my heart has been set to go back to camp this summer)
The final blow I took this weekend was that I got word that one of my old co-workers from Covenant, Rod passed away last night from a heart attack. Rod was an awesome man of God. He was in charge of facilities services and always had a smile on his face. I would see him working at 7am making sure the campus was ready for Orientation and at 12am cleaning up after a big event. I never say him not working hard. He empowered me and trusted me with decisions I didn't think I had the authority to make. He was so genuine and loved Covenant and loved people at Covenant. I know he is in a better place which softens the blow but he will be missed a lot. RIP Peace Rod. You're the man and I know you're smiling down on us now!

Life as an RD

I always wondered what RD's did during the day, or how they always claimed to be so busy. I now understand. Its difficult to explain but somehow your time just disappears even though you don't work from 9-5 or have set office hours. Although I can't claim that I have been woke up at 2am...yet. I do constantly feel that I am "on call". I never feel like my job is done and I can understand how RD's can get stir crazy.

If you ever wonder what people do in student development they are probably
A. In a meeting
B. On the phone trying to figure out when their next meeting is
or
C. In a meeting

So while trying to build relationships, being a "politician", making sure my building is functioning, and trying to live life. I definitely am enjoying it. There is no other job like it.

Following God's will

Lots of things have happened since my last post. I recently took a job as Resident Director position at Geneva College. About 3 and half weeks ago I received an email about a job opportunity at Geneva. The main benefit would be that I could receive free tuition towards earning my Masters Degree.
At first I ignored the email but for some reason could not keep it out of my mind. I decided to talk it over with my roommate Tim. We spoke for about an hour and by the end of the conversation he had motivated me to at least put my name in the hat. Things quickly progressed and I soon had a phone interview and before I knew what to do I was offered the job.
Leaving Covenant was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make in my life. After much prayer and many conversations with people I trusted, I came to the conclusion that God had opened this window and I needed to take the leap. I notified my supervisors and gave them only a few days notice. They were extremely gracious and were excited for me. I called students that I was close with and told them the news. Again, most if not all took the news graciously and supported me in my decision.
I packed up my belongings, loaded up a UHAUL, and towed my car 12 hours to Beaver Falls, PA. I was warmly welcomed and have hit the ground running. Since my move, I have been through RD training and am about to wrap up RA training. New Student Orientation will begin next week and the classes will begin in about 2 weeks.
Do I miss Covenant? Yes.
Do I feel like I'm suppose to be at Geneva? Yes.
Does God ask us to do crazy things and trust him? YES.

With a Heavy Heart...

We received word yesterday that a student from Covenant passed away after having complications from a stroke. Ben was in Kenya visiting his parents who are missionaries when all of this happened. They decided to MediEvac him to South Africa but during the flight he left us and went home to the Lord.
I didn't know Ben too well but 2 things I will remember about him, was that one he worked hard. He worked for facilities services during the school year and was the person that gave people parking tickets if they were parked illegally. Probably not the easiest job to have and you would think he would be often criticized but amazingly enough, I never heard a student say anything bad about Ben. He was just doing his job and he did it well.
The second thing I will remember about Ben and probably the reason why people never got upset with him was that he was always smiling. He was such a joyful guy and loved life.

It was kind of ironic that I was celebrating my birthday while all of this was happening over the weekend. I often become nostalgic during my birthday and love to think about and look at the path that God has taken me thus far, and wonder what the next few years will be like. In the midst of this I wondered why I have gotten to live 26 years and someone like Ben only got 20(an answer I will never know until God calls me up). It has also been a blessing to feel so loved and appreciated on my birthday. Numerous phone calls, text messages and many, many posts on my facebook wall. Thank you all for the love, really.

It's obviously hard when someone passes away, but what eases the pain in this case is that we know that Ben is in a better place. I can't imagine what his family is going through. The Covenant community is still in shock and wondering why? But as we try to adjust to this sad news we will all grasp on a little tighter to the blessings we have on this earth. I personally will tell my friends and family that I love them more. I also hope that this loss of life will invigorate us to embrace our faith in the Lord.

Why is the world so broken?

I feel like I can't handle anymore bad news. In the past few months I have heard several stories of friends, and family who are going through separations or divorces. I don't understand why this is happening especially all at once. I don't know what else to do but to pray for them.
Throughout my Grad School classes we were constantly talking about the Christian Meta-narrative of Creation, Fall, Redemption, Consummation. I think the hard part of this cycle is that we are constantly still falling. We must strive for redemption in all that we do, but it is so hard when things around us are crumbling and falling to the world. The world of pride, lust, anger, jealousy;SIN.
I am constantly reminded of a message my youth pastor gave me in Junior High. He talked about pain and how without it we would not be able to feel joy. We wouldn't be grateful for what God has done for us in our lives, if our lives were perfect all the time. It would be like living in a fake "shalom" on earth. How many times can I say that I have forgot about God during the good times? But, I can never say that I never thought about God in the hard times.
I'm also reminded of a discussion I had in a literature class immediately following the 9/11 attacks. We discussed what it really means to tell someone, "God bless you."
On the surface, its something we easily say to people, but to really ask God to bless you, means to bring on much more then joy and happiness but also to bring pain and suffering.

So in a sense, God is revealing his blessings around me.