I received a call this morning from my Mom. I knew what the call was about once I saw that it was her calling. My uncle finally lost his battle with cancer. After going in and out of remission, the cancer spread through his body and finally took its toll.
I got to speak to my uncle about a month ago on the phone, I kind of thought that it would be the last time I would get to talk to him. He kept on giving me advice and lecturing me on different things. Till the end he was still looking out for me.
When I was a little kid he use to reward me every Sunday for going to church. I would get a pack of baseball cards and a slurpee from 7-11. We would go over to his house and I would make him watch "Spaceballs" over and over again, but he would sit there with me every time. We use to go on hikes together and he would always have his whistles and hand them out in case someone got lost. He LOVED nature and being outside. He loved baseball. Maybe thats where I get my passion for the Red Sox. I remember watching the Kirk Gibson homerun with him in 88. Life was so simple then. Everyone in my family loved everyone and there was no complications.
As I grew up more and started putting things together, I realized that my uncle was at the center of lots of drama on my mothers side of the family. I have been pretty upset with him and placed a lot of blame on him for not being able to get together for holidays, and coming in between siblings, but I realize now that he was just a human and he made some mistakes.
I forgive you Sam-chun and I love you. Thanks for loving me and caring for me.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Picking Up the Pieces as I try to live redemptively
It's amazing how things in one aspect of my life can be going so well and how things in another are so broken. My weekend sums it up in a nutshell. I had a really relaxing day off yesterday which included hanging out with some of the RD's playing some video games, going out to Chipotle for dinner and doing some shopping at the mall.
I called my mom last night and she gave me word that my uncle who has been battling cancer for the last 3 years is finally conceding and will let the disease take its course. Mentally and physically he can't handle any more chemo and he just wants to be now. The cancer has now spread throughout his body and only time will tell how long he will last.
My Dad is thinking about taking a job in Florida which would mean that my mom would try to go back and forth from LA to check up on my our house and my sister who is currently living at home. This necessarily isn't a bad thing but it adds more complications into things. Like, where do I go for Christmas break? and my mom also said, "it would be nice if you could live at home with your sister during your summer off..." (Not my idea of a great summer...and my heart has been set to go back to camp this summer)
The final blow I took this weekend was that I got word that one of my old co-workers from Covenant, Rod passed away last night from a heart attack. Rod was an awesome man of God. He was in charge of facilities services and always had a smile on his face. I would see him working at 7am making sure the campus was ready for Orientation and at 12am cleaning up after a big event. I never say him not working hard. He empowered me and trusted me with decisions I didn't think I had the authority to make. He was so genuine and loved Covenant and loved people at Covenant. I know he is in a better place which softens the blow but he will be missed a lot. RIP Peace Rod. You're the man and I know you're smiling down on us now!
I called my mom last night and she gave me word that my uncle who has been battling cancer for the last 3 years is finally conceding and will let the disease take its course. Mentally and physically he can't handle any more chemo and he just wants to be now. The cancer has now spread throughout his body and only time will tell how long he will last.
My Dad is thinking about taking a job in Florida which would mean that my mom would try to go back and forth from LA to check up on my our house and my sister who is currently living at home. This necessarily isn't a bad thing but it adds more complications into things. Like, where do I go for Christmas break? and my mom also said, "it would be nice if you could live at home with your sister during your summer off..." (Not my idea of a great summer...and my heart has been set to go back to camp this summer)
The final blow I took this weekend was that I got word that one of my old co-workers from Covenant, Rod passed away last night from a heart attack. Rod was an awesome man of God. He was in charge of facilities services and always had a smile on his face. I would see him working at 7am making sure the campus was ready for Orientation and at 12am cleaning up after a big event. I never say him not working hard. He empowered me and trusted me with decisions I didn't think I had the authority to make. He was so genuine and loved Covenant and loved people at Covenant. I know he is in a better place which softens the blow but he will be missed a lot. RIP Peace Rod. You're the man and I know you're smiling down on us now!
Monday, September 1, 2008
Life as an RD
I always wondered what RD's did during the day, or how they always claimed to be so busy. I now understand. Its difficult to explain but somehow your time just disappears even though you don't work from 9-5 or have set office hours. Although I can't claim that I have been woke up at 2am...yet. I do constantly feel that I am "on call". I never feel like my job is done and I can understand how RD's can get stir crazy.
If you ever wonder what people do in student development they are probably
A. In a meeting
B. On the phone trying to figure out when their next meeting is
or
C. In a meeting
So while trying to build relationships, being a "politician", making sure my building is functioning, and trying to live life. I definitely am enjoying it. There is no other job like it.
If you ever wonder what people do in student development they are probably
A. In a meeting
B. On the phone trying to figure out when their next meeting is
or
C. In a meeting
So while trying to build relationships, being a "politician", making sure my building is functioning, and trying to live life. I definitely am enjoying it. There is no other job like it.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Following God's will
Lots of things have happened since my last post. I recently took a job as Resident Director position at Geneva College. About 3 and half weeks ago I received an email about a job opportunity at Geneva. The main benefit would be that I could receive free tuition towards earning my Masters Degree.
At first I ignored the email but for some reason could not keep it out of my mind. I decided to talk it over with my roommate Tim. We spoke for about an hour and by the end of the conversation he had motivated me to at least put my name in the hat. Things quickly progressed and I soon had a phone interview and before I knew what to do I was offered the job.
Leaving Covenant was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make in my life. After much prayer and many conversations with people I trusted, I came to the conclusion that God had opened this window and I needed to take the leap. I notified my supervisors and gave them only a few days notice. They were extremely gracious and were excited for me. I called students that I was close with and told them the news. Again, most if not all took the news graciously and supported me in my decision.
I packed up my belongings, loaded up a UHAUL, and towed my car 12 hours to Beaver Falls, PA. I was warmly welcomed and have hit the ground running. Since my move, I have been through RD training and am about to wrap up RA training. New Student Orientation will begin next week and the classes will begin in about 2 weeks.
Do I miss Covenant? Yes.
Do I feel like I'm suppose to be at Geneva? Yes.
Does God ask us to do crazy things and trust him? YES.
At first I ignored the email but for some reason could not keep it out of my mind. I decided to talk it over with my roommate Tim. We spoke for about an hour and by the end of the conversation he had motivated me to at least put my name in the hat. Things quickly progressed and I soon had a phone interview and before I knew what to do I was offered the job.
Leaving Covenant was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make in my life. After much prayer and many conversations with people I trusted, I came to the conclusion that God had opened this window and I needed to take the leap. I notified my supervisors and gave them only a few days notice. They were extremely gracious and were excited for me. I called students that I was close with and told them the news. Again, most if not all took the news graciously and supported me in my decision.
I packed up my belongings, loaded up a UHAUL, and towed my car 12 hours to Beaver Falls, PA. I was warmly welcomed and have hit the ground running. Since my move, I have been through RD training and am about to wrap up RA training. New Student Orientation will begin next week and the classes will begin in about 2 weeks.
Do I miss Covenant? Yes.
Do I feel like I'm suppose to be at Geneva? Yes.
Does God ask us to do crazy things and trust him? YES.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
With a Heavy Heart...
We received word yesterday that a student from Covenant passed away after having complications from a stroke. Ben was in Kenya visiting his parents who are missionaries when all of this happened. They decided to MediEvac him to South Africa but during the flight he left us and went home to the Lord.
I didn't know Ben too well but 2 things I will remember about him, was that one he worked hard. He worked for facilities services during the school year and was the person that gave people parking tickets if they were parked illegally. Probably not the easiest job to have and you would think he would be often criticized but amazingly enough, I never heard a student say anything bad about Ben. He was just doing his job and he did it well.
The second thing I will remember about Ben and probably the reason why people never got upset with him was that he was always smiling. He was such a joyful guy and loved life.
It was kind of ironic that I was celebrating my birthday while all of this was happening over the weekend. I often become nostalgic during my birthday and love to think about and look at the path that God has taken me thus far, and wonder what the next few years will be like. In the midst of this I wondered why I have gotten to live 26 years and someone like Ben only got 20(an answer I will never know until God calls me up). It has also been a blessing to feel so loved and appreciated on my birthday. Numerous phone calls, text messages and many, many posts on my facebook wall. Thank you all for the love, really.
It's obviously hard when someone passes away, but what eases the pain in this case is that we know that Ben is in a better place. I can't imagine what his family is going through. The Covenant community is still in shock and wondering why? But as we try to adjust to this sad news we will all grasp on a little tighter to the blessings we have on this earth. I personally will tell my friends and family that I love them more. I also hope that this loss of life will invigorate us to embrace our faith in the Lord.
I didn't know Ben too well but 2 things I will remember about him, was that one he worked hard. He worked for facilities services during the school year and was the person that gave people parking tickets if they were parked illegally. Probably not the easiest job to have and you would think he would be often criticized but amazingly enough, I never heard a student say anything bad about Ben. He was just doing his job and he did it well.
The second thing I will remember about Ben and probably the reason why people never got upset with him was that he was always smiling. He was such a joyful guy and loved life.
It was kind of ironic that I was celebrating my birthday while all of this was happening over the weekend. I often become nostalgic during my birthday and love to think about and look at the path that God has taken me thus far, and wonder what the next few years will be like. In the midst of this I wondered why I have gotten to live 26 years and someone like Ben only got 20(an answer I will never know until God calls me up). It has also been a blessing to feel so loved and appreciated on my birthday. Numerous phone calls, text messages and many, many posts on my facebook wall. Thank you all for the love, really.
It's obviously hard when someone passes away, but what eases the pain in this case is that we know that Ben is in a better place. I can't imagine what his family is going through. The Covenant community is still in shock and wondering why? But as we try to adjust to this sad news we will all grasp on a little tighter to the blessings we have on this earth. I personally will tell my friends and family that I love them more. I also hope that this loss of life will invigorate us to embrace our faith in the Lord.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Why is the world so broken?
I feel like I can't handle anymore bad news. In the past few months I have heard several stories of friends, and family who are going through separations or divorces. I don't understand why this is happening especially all at once. I don't know what else to do but to pray for them.
Throughout my Grad School classes we were constantly talking about the Christian Meta-narrative of Creation, Fall, Redemption, Consummation. I think the hard part of this cycle is that we are constantly still falling. We must strive for redemption in all that we do, but it is so hard when things around us are crumbling and falling to the world. The world of pride, lust, anger, jealousy;SIN.
I am constantly reminded of a message my youth pastor gave me in Junior High. He talked about pain and how without it we would not be able to feel joy. We wouldn't be grateful for what God has done for us in our lives, if our lives were perfect all the time. It would be like living in a fake "shalom" on earth. How many times can I say that I have forgot about God during the good times? But, I can never say that I never thought about God in the hard times.
I'm also reminded of a discussion I had in a literature class immediately following the 9/11 attacks. We discussed what it really means to tell someone, "God bless you."
On the surface, its something we easily say to people, but to really ask God to bless you, means to bring on much more then joy and happiness but also to bring pain and suffering.
So in a sense, God is revealing his blessings around me.
Throughout my Grad School classes we were constantly talking about the Christian Meta-narrative of Creation, Fall, Redemption, Consummation. I think the hard part of this cycle is that we are constantly still falling. We must strive for redemption in all that we do, but it is so hard when things around us are crumbling and falling to the world. The world of pride, lust, anger, jealousy;SIN.
I am constantly reminded of a message my youth pastor gave me in Junior High. He talked about pain and how without it we would not be able to feel joy. We wouldn't be grateful for what God has done for us in our lives, if our lives were perfect all the time. It would be like living in a fake "shalom" on earth. How many times can I say that I have forgot about God during the good times? But, I can never say that I never thought about God in the hard times.
I'm also reminded of a discussion I had in a literature class immediately following the 9/11 attacks. We discussed what it really means to tell someone, "God bless you."
On the surface, its something we easily say to people, but to really ask God to bless you, means to bring on much more then joy and happiness but also to bring pain and suffering.
So in a sense, God is revealing his blessings around me.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Around the World (US) in a few weeks
So I finally have a free moment and some internet access to write a post. For the past 2 weeks I have been traveling all over the country. I started out in Charlottesville, Virginia for my old roomates wedding. It was an awesome time and again my Christian worlds collided. At this wedding I saw friends from Covenant, friends from Summer's Best, and friends from the Trinity Fellows Program.
I then drove to Chicago/ Indiana for a couple of days. I got to tour the city with a friend Liz and went to my first Cubs game. I got to see old camp friends and experience one of the most historic ball parks in the country. I also ended up on ESPN which I had no idea I was on until my friend tagged photos of me on Facebook.
After Chicago I drove down to West Lafayette, IN where my friends Jon and Lauren from the Fellows program got married. It was so awesome to see all of my fellows classmates except for one who could not make it. It was also great to see my old mentor and fellows director. There is something about being able to have face to face conversations with old friends compared to talking on the phone. It was such a blessing to see everyone and be lifted up through words of encouragement and wisdom. God knew what he was doing when he created fellowship. I expressed how special my fellows class was; to my director Dennis and my old mentor Greg and said "it's hard to be away from all of these guys and know that we might not get another chance to have a group of friends like this ever in our lifetime. It's almost like we tasted a little piece of heaven." God blessed our group so much and all of us still remain very close. They are some of the first people I call when I need prayer or am feeling down. Thank you God for my Fellows Friends!
After the wedding I headed to Cincinnati, OH for a Reds game. I got to see Ken Griffey Jr. play for the first time live. He was a child hood hero and it was definitely a dream come true to see him play. Unfortunately he did not hit #600 while I was there but it was still a fun time.
I then went to Cedarville for ACSD which is a conference held for Christians in Higher Education/Student Development. It was good to see my co-workers after a week of traveling. I went to various workshops and got to see old friends from camp who were now working in Higher Education. My old Dean of Students Barry Loy is the President of ACSD so it always feels like I am back at Gordon whenever I go to this conference because it brings me back to the days of the Leadership Retreat/Conferences in NH.
I then drove to Summer's Best 2 Weeks for a couple of days to help out during orientation. This was again another blessing as I got to see old friends and meet new people. Camp has grown so much and it was awesome to see how God was working at the Quemahoning. Camp will always hold a special place in my heart because of all the great memories, spiritual and mental growth I experienced and of course the life long friendships I made there.
I am currently at Geneva College starting my Masters program in Higher Education. I am in class 8 hours a day and have a week and a half to go for this first year. It has been really challenging but also really great. I am learning so much and meeting so many great people. The Higher Ed department does a great job of having fun activities at night and breaks throughout the day that you almost forget that you're earning a degree. Ok not really, but it has been fun despite the fact that I am in class all day long.
This trip has made me realized how blessed I am. I am blessed from my previous experiences and the relationships that God has allowed me to have. I am blessed to have a job that I love. I am blessed to be healthy and have the resources to take such a long road trip. I am blessed with awesome parents who have supported me through thick and thin.
I then drove to Chicago/ Indiana for a couple of days. I got to tour the city with a friend Liz and went to my first Cubs game. I got to see old camp friends and experience one of the most historic ball parks in the country. I also ended up on ESPN which I had no idea I was on until my friend tagged photos of me on Facebook.
After Chicago I drove down to West Lafayette, IN where my friends Jon and Lauren from the Fellows program got married. It was so awesome to see all of my fellows classmates except for one who could not make it. It was also great to see my old mentor and fellows director. There is something about being able to have face to face conversations with old friends compared to talking on the phone. It was such a blessing to see everyone and be lifted up through words of encouragement and wisdom. God knew what he was doing when he created fellowship. I expressed how special my fellows class was; to my director Dennis and my old mentor Greg and said "it's hard to be away from all of these guys and know that we might not get another chance to have a group of friends like this ever in our lifetime. It's almost like we tasted a little piece of heaven." God blessed our group so much and all of us still remain very close. They are some of the first people I call when I need prayer or am feeling down. Thank you God for my Fellows Friends!
After the wedding I headed to Cincinnati, OH for a Reds game. I got to see Ken Griffey Jr. play for the first time live. He was a child hood hero and it was definitely a dream come true to see him play. Unfortunately he did not hit #600 while I was there but it was still a fun time.
I then went to Cedarville for ACSD which is a conference held for Christians in Higher Education/Student Development. It was good to see my co-workers after a week of traveling. I went to various workshops and got to see old friends from camp who were now working in Higher Education. My old Dean of Students Barry Loy is the President of ACSD so it always feels like I am back at Gordon whenever I go to this conference because it brings me back to the days of the Leadership Retreat/Conferences in NH.
I then drove to Summer's Best 2 Weeks for a couple of days to help out during orientation. This was again another blessing as I got to see old friends and meet new people. Camp has grown so much and it was awesome to see how God was working at the Quemahoning. Camp will always hold a special place in my heart because of all the great memories, spiritual and mental growth I experienced and of course the life long friendships I made there.
I am currently at Geneva College starting my Masters program in Higher Education. I am in class 8 hours a day and have a week and a half to go for this first year. It has been really challenging but also really great. I am learning so much and meeting so many great people. The Higher Ed department does a great job of having fun activities at night and breaks throughout the day that you almost forget that you're earning a degree. Ok not really, but it has been fun despite the fact that I am in class all day long.
This trip has made me realized how blessed I am. I am blessed from my previous experiences and the relationships that God has allowed me to have. I am blessed to have a job that I love. I am blessed to be healthy and have the resources to take such a long road trip. I am blessed with awesome parents who have supported me through thick and thin.
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